Barbaric torture or Miracle, tres
The reason for the shocks is the doctor is trying to find the optimum spot in my brain to place the electrode. This was a combination of the shocks, the doctors listening to my neurons as they fired, and reflex responses to various inputs. For example, the doctors told me to relax as much as possible and then pushed and pulled on my limbs and my shoulders. These were not gentle movements, the guy that was manipulating my body looked like a weight lifter. He would jerk me around, and everyone in the OR (about 20 people) had to be quiet so he could hear the sounds coming from the speakers.
During all this, I had a problem. This is what it was: My right nostril felt like it was burning. I asked Dr. Weight-lifter (not his real name) to check out the oxygen cannulae. He said it was fine, but the damn thing was burning like hell.
Finally the head (that’s head as in lead) doctor thought he had the electrodes in the right position. He told everyone to clear out of the room, because he was going to do a CAT scan. The place went dead as everyone scurried out. It reminded me of a game of “hide and seek” for some reason.
Through out this ordeal, Darlene comforted me. She rubbed my hand. She talked with me, her voice calming me. (Toby Cosgrove, if you ever read this, I recommend you have someone in the room doing just that: calming the patient.) At some point in this I was thinking of my son, Jim. I love Jim. What a great guy! As I lay there I sarted crying. Darlene asked me what was wrong? I told her how I loved him. She wiped my tears.
Once the head doc thought every thing was OK he turned the show over to Darlene. It was time for her to conduct her study. She set up the game. And wouldn’t you know it? I could not see the monitor! If there was one person in that room I wanted to please, it was her. But if you can’t see the monitor, obviously you can’t play the game. She fussed with it for ten minutes or so and then the head doc told her we had to move on.